i have an apartment!

I just had the worst nightmare I've ever had. I was at my house and Luis and his family also lived in the same neighborhood and my neighbor John was there so I went to the little valley between our houses right by where the trees begin so I could show Luis how amazing my neighbor is. He was having a neighborhood ballgame and a lot of people were playing and a woman with long gorgeous red hair started to dictate one of the rules when there was an argument. We were ignoring her speech but fell silent. All our eyes turned to her and she became boisterous thinking she had gotten our attention. There was a deathly chill in the air and the sky became slate and behind her there was the devil. It was a great creature with a buck's skull and antlers and black and red folding around it and hooves that were like hands in that it could distort its body to place them on her shoulder. It was tall, too, a good 8 feet and made a whistle scream like bugling but it echoed and felt sharp. It said something and the woman turned around and fell paralyzed and suddenly all these men with gas masks started appearing to take us away. We weren't supposed to have seen that and they had to take us now so I had to run. Luis left me and ran in the opposite direction and I was alone looking for him. I couldn't find him at all. I ran until I collapsed and they were upon me so I got up and ran further. 
Once I got to the house I found him inside smoking weed on a raggedy couch. He told me he was fine and we went to the porch and there were a group of people in a car.
"I've gotta go I'm going to give these people a ride" he said.
And I went out and on the porch his mother was there and she was crying and she was holding a picture of a cross. She said:
"I don't believe in this does it mean that I have to believe?"
And I assured her it was still fine to believe in nothing despite that we had seen something, but just to ignore it.
Then I realized Luis was never coming back so I asked his mother to take his belongings which consisted of several smoking devices and two large bags of weed. I think I kept a little for myself. She said she would return them to him.

Ahhhh, I am feeling gr8 had a really sweet day yesterday even though I ran errands through a lot of it but I got lot's of presents and lots of love I don't know. I hate thanksgiving! It's not as bad as christmas I guess. I don't get why people celebrate these things but it is kind of like I feel like I'm being forced to be a part of society. Eh, I dreamt about cats and other things and love and kissing and I think that I need to clean my room really bad. It's full of bags of smart popcorn and stuff which is actually really awesome but I think if mom came in here she'd be like ew Elyse have some tact you ho.
Wanna stuff my face, eat some football, and then dessert with Assassin's Creed

Emily's fucking friend is here which means I have to put on clothes and i dont get to exercise and fuck this shit why would you ever come home from college college lis the greatest and my Laura isn't here so i dont have anybody to go to sushi with

Everrrrrrrrrrrything is going disastrously wrong! I stubbed the FuCK out of my toe but I am numbing it all by drinking DDDDD

I have a really godawful bad feeling about tomorrow. It's starting already I'm gonna pop a Vicodin and drink wine until that feeling hopefully goes away.

Read on the internet somewhere that the worst thing a girl can call a guy is creepy...
So what's the worst a guy can call a girl?
Slut, tramp, cunt, bitch, whore, sleeze, easy

I listened to cat power in my bed with a bunch of cats and then i tried to find some porn to watch but my favorite porn blog shut down so I have to hunt which pisses me off a lot. I want some fucking starbucks. Yesterday I was really upset and today I don't really care about anything at all. I'm not passionate about anything. You should see the big slice on my hand it is rough. Bandaids were making it itch so I took em off for a bit. Gonna go watch Jeff Goldblum and exercise while thinking about making out with him. He is always smelling things on Criminal intent and it's like somebody out there knows about my fetish for men with big noses.
Then I'm gonna eat pizza fuck yes.

i need to go pick up some velveeta and eat it with assassins creed because it will make me feel better. i cant wait to get out of the current stage that i'm in because i'm totally open heart exposed willing to fall in love give myself to a man just cuz i feel in the dumps or moreso because i know im alone i am totally alone in this city and me and sam hang out and it's like dude we're so alone but there's nothing i can do. i love being alone because it means im free and i can run and be free and i love it to death but i am at a rare spot. The window is closing soon so if you want me to fall in love with you hurry up! It's a limited time only sort of deal. Chances are, I won't fall for it. I'm laying low and licking my wounds and eating yummy treats and exercising and working and writing and being Elyse and soon I will be at a new stage where I am so strong you'll be lucky to even run into me.

'most people are rats and I would gladly skewer them.

some people are just cold and rotting inside and don't care. you can put people on a rope like a dog and you can sever the rope and say goodbye. I don't want to go to any parties and i know the bad man is around he is the devil but worse than that. One day he will sit with blood on his hands and laugh and giggle and his friends will say you are a lovely boy and everything you did is right and the world is against you but you are strong and we are strong behind you.

he is the devil he takes what he wants uses people like flour bags. He doesn't care he is like a rotting tooth I keep asking the dentist to take out, please take it out. I wish I hadn't gone to PkwySouth I made the wrong two best friends because he used them to trick me and now they are all his all gone from me. Now I am living with fear all the time don't want to think about it don't want to eat the dinner laid out in front of me. the devil is sweet is sweet to you and then he squeezes you like a tube of toothpaste and marks you like a dog marking a lamp post. He will do with you what he pleases he controls you you are too afraid to say no because he has shown you that you are lower than a dog, than a plant, yarimasu.

I was so lucky on halloween because i got to black out for real and forget and it feels so good to be unconscious and not remember I've been trying to forget for 3 years but my parents always force me to come back on christmas eve and i despise christmas it is the worst holiday it is hell it is worst than hell it is the stench of death and I remember being taken against my will while wearing my boyfriends shirt. 

when im here i feel like ill never come out on top, ill be buried in obscurity as the crazy girl who ruined everybody elses fun. ill be the nuts girl and nobody will remember me or ever having a single good time with me.