November 12, 2012

  • i can't really type normal right now. one pinky is wrapped up in a cast thing and the other one i partially severed a tendon and it hurts oh it hurts when i put pressure on it. i know that lots of things are bad on the planet right now so i get really honest to god upset when i see commercials of young people wearing fashionable clothes and going to taco bell and parties and it's like hello this country is in a complete recession the only way a young person could have well dressed fun like that is if they had rich parents. having a shitty cat is totally okay. think about it. shitty cat will hide under the bed all the time and what you just feed it and sometimes it scares you when you accidentally step on it at night? that is not that bad. having a shitty dog would be like having a son that did meth and would never leave your house. i just could not take it. shitty dogs are the worst worst worst worst. when i go to peoples houses and they even have a mediocre dog, i get depressed. i would only want the best dog or no dog at all.
    why the fuck do people want to be british? its like yo i want to eat crappy food all the time and watch soccer? just be canadian instead. at least they have the CFL..............okay that would be way worse. but maybe you will see liberty or j.t. on the street and smoke some legal joints with them. ya catch my drift?
    i don't think it is possible to find a good mate for elyse. i have come to terms with this. i am a huge romantic but it is starting to dull away. i take what love i can get and it is in pieces because big love for me is impossible. i get close but no cigar. luis is someone i am in love with but he will never read books or go to college and he is okay with a standard of living that means 30 dollars in his bank account and no trash can to throw things away in. so i am thinking that if we got married i would end up poor and pregnant and most of all super sad which is honestly the future in envision with any man because for christs sake they are all the same.
    i wish eric was a better friend. i wish he would stand up for me. i wish he would be like fuck you to people who are mean to me but he is such a lilly livered coward that i can't even fucking believe it. i really can't! augh, i would like make huge sacrifices for that guy but i feel like he would never like defend me in private.
    i am always honest and when people make me nervous i get more honest and i tell them too much. when i get REALLY nervous i pick my nose. i can't help it. i need to learn how to lie to people more than i do. like, you have to believe in something to lie about it i.e. i need to believe in myself more so i can tell the truth and not feel like i'm lying if i'm lying. does that make sense?
    ow ow ow ow ow. there are so many feelings i want to get out but i destroyed my hands!!! it was like i said, elyse, fuck you, take some medicine. now i cannot have fun and type and play videogames like i used to. ow ow ow ow ow i have to stop, fuck.