January 1, 2013

  • Yesterday I woke up and lounged in bed with my cat like usual and then I got up to get ready to go to work and Brandon texted me asking what I was doing and I said I was going to work and he said he'd stop by and I walked out to meet him in the snow in a scene that I couldn't even conceive of writing myself. He talked to me in a roundabout way about how he was leaving and he wanted to hang out so I said I would hang out with him tomorrow (today) and then dropped a bagel on the ground and then still ate it because it was the only food I was gonna get for a while. I had to drive to work quickly in the snow but I didn't die and I made it there. Phan and I sat up at the front desk as I completed several levels of angry birds and she did not read anything but pretended to. We were bored and tired and wished person after person happy new years. I ate a giant plate of mac and cheese and I wanted to go to sleep. We called security up to escort a drunk person out but he didn't even do anything and security wouldn't even believe me that he was drunk. I kept playing angry birds. Justin grabbed us starbucks. I drank caffeine and felt anxious. I am a frozen duck. I finally got into my car to go home. No cigarettes. angry 
    I parked my car and got dressed. I went to the bar next to me. I got a long island iced tea. I sat there. I listened to other people's conversations a bit. I got a shot of moonshine. i hardly made it down without barfing. i got a beer. i drank it and i left when i had to pee. I got sexts from david, I got a fucking text from Chance and I texted my neighbor who said he was at a work party. I went home and watched american horror story and passed out on my couch. I woke up to my neighbors having a fun time in the basement and a million texts from Laura and a text from my neighbor saying he was coming back at 3:30. It was 4. I missed everything.
    I tried to go to bed and I had a dream about Chance which is awful, I had a dream about something else too. I woke up and now I have to hang out with Brandon. I hate this year already.
    I am going to smoke weed and play videogames till he calls me-after I pay bills and take out the trash. Entering 2013 alone coming out alone.