October 26, 2012

  • I am the fastest runner I know sometimes. I am super good with super speed and all that. and sometimes it just catches up with you. Awful things. The things that dredge up on the shore. the pieces of junk and material there's some kind of term for it but I don't know what it is at this particular moment but the kind that makes its own islands in the middle of the ocean. I love to run I love to race and I love going away from it and shedding it off but when the bad feeling of soberness catches up to you it's so painful you can't believe it and I get so fucking mad. It's the kind of anger that won't go away and I want to go to my city that I dream about the city that catches my breath at night and they played the song about it on the radio the one that kills me. When I was a young girl I used to watch cult movies on AMC till the break of dawn and dream about wild and crazy things and I quit jobs because I get bored and everything and I am sick but I am going to hit that tonight because my brain won't turn off and I used to be a child and I used to be a romantic and I used to think that love was the best thing on the planet but I am never going to do it again and I give up and my life is going to be typed up words and smoking and drinking and dying in the city I dream about alone in that house in that apartment. When that man showed up to my house and then I saw Chuck Berry that night and tears got up in my eyes because I needed to go I needed to leave need to leave pretty soon I gotta run again.