I want to do some weird drugs today and feel weird. I started downloading "the bridge on the river kwai" last night. I think I need to start watching old creature horror films for inspiration. I can't believe how much of a baby I am when I don't have a laptop like the whole world's gonna end if I don't have my computer all full of songs and writings and pictures and  movies I can watch it really is my whole life on here. I think that it's ridiculous that it is cold outside I never ordered this weather. I like reading good comics and bad comics because I really think the best form of media is comics. People underestimate images and the way something looks but really looking beautiful and gorgeous is the only way to fluidly move about this planet like a long snake.

Iowa City couldn't have turned out to be worse place than it came to be. Everything was going good until I was assaulted. The boy who stayed over one night came back and scared me and I told everyone about it and everybody thinks I'm a liar bad person and nobody wants anything to do with me. I moved to this town so I could have friends and work on my stuff and now I'm just friendless and I have nothing. Except for Joe. So I ended up being the loser who only has a boyfriend and that's it. I don't belong anywhere and maybe not on this earth. I should really be dead.