June 22, 2013

  • There he was again, his spirit his eyes his balls were all David and I felt it and I saw him and I fell in love again. I won’t take the time out of my day to chase anything unless I feel an exciting, groping, love. I want so badly to find some buddies who are sick of the lies they sit around and stew in and want the truth and I love. I love that. I am really nothing but I am. I felt such love as I chucked that thing in furious anger, my hands shaking for a cigarette, praying and thanking god that for a minute or two I can feel such love in a world littered with moments where I feel nothing but at the same time proving to you that I am a smart woman I am a beautiful woman I am better than you’ll ever get and I am the kind of gal that people always hope they’ll run into but YOU are a satisfied little fuck who is so happy in your castle or reminiscing you are so happy in your tube of understanding and you are so happy with your sugary memories of someone who took your heart and callously fucked it. you didn’t even give me a CHANCE a SHOT a fucking moment where I could prove to you that I am a good loyal hard working goddamn truthful person. All you felt in your heart was fear and bubbling fear and fear and for that, I exclude you from the wolf pack you LIAR. You COWARD. You don’t even dream of stepping up to the plate because you already dreamed of the ball coming to slam in your face. You missed out, just like all of them, assuming your tastes and your knowledge and your desires were plainly softer and sweeter than any goddamn this boob-ridden vagina-ridden nonsense of a pair of eyes and freckles could produce. I know that I walk around and people see me before they hear me they fuck me before they hear me I am THAT. I pray every single day I can hide and become invisible behind words and people can realize, like MADDIE SAID TO ME ONE DAY “You are so DIFFERENT in your writings than you are in real life….” NO, no, no I’m not. You’re just BLIND. You never bothered to hear me in the first place. I could be a great philosopher I could be SOMETHING but to you I am a fun walk in the park that you’ll never appreciate or love just even as close….as I appreciated and loved you :)